It’s been ten years since my mom died, so I figured it was time I became a better person. It’s hard though, you know? I’ve missed out on a decade of advice, wisdom, regurgitated regrets, and motherly insults.

In the last ten years, I’ve done the following:

1. Had a second kid
2. Gone back and forth on this whole God thing
3. Worked at three different places, at jobs I’ve completely sucked at
4. Started to write three novels and three short stories, none of which I’ve ever finished
5. Lost and found the same ten pounds over and over again
6. Quit and started drinking too many times to count

But this next decade should probably be different. Life is short, so they say, and I’m beginning to think “they” are right. So I joined a gym. No, not a gym. A “health club.” The kind where they have a pool and sauna, and old fat ladies walk around the locker room shamelessly naked. I’ve begun trying out this whole praying thing again. I’ve tried to remind myself every day, to take each moment with a grain of salt, to find the good in every situation, and to think of everything as a novel fodder. Oh and I’ve recommitted myself to finishing a novel. Who knows if it will actually happen, but a girl can dream right?

So, yeah. Ten years without my biggest cheerleader by my side has put me way behind, but I’m still here. So here’s to the new year of writing and getting healthy, and being the mom I should’ve been all along.