ring.ring.

Let me break it down for those of you who grew up in this age of wireless phones and texting and instant gratification.

This is how a normal, polite human-being makes a phone call:

Normal, Polite Human-Being (from here on out known as NPHB): *dialing number*

RING! RING!

NPHB: *waiting and not hanging up*

RING! RING!

NPHB: *waiting and thinking to yourself, Maybe she’s with another client/patient/customer/insert whatever here*

RING! RING!

VOICEMAIL: I’m away from my desk or with another client. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

NPHB: This is NPHB. I’m calling about blah blah blah and yadda blah. Please call me back when you get a chance. My number is xxx-xxxx. Thank you!

This is how you, apparently, make a call:

You: *dialing number*

RING! RING!

You: *waiting patiently (I can only assume because you haven’t hung up yet)*

RING! RING!

You: *apparently thinking, why the hell hasn’t this bitch picked up yet?*

RING! RING!

You: *hanging up without leaving any kind of message whatsoever*

You: *calling back immediately and doing the exact same thing*

You: *calling back immediately and doing the exact same thing*

You: *calling back immediately and doing the exact same thing*

You: *calling back immediately and doing the exact same thing*

ME (Once I get done with my appointment -that you interrupted six times- with another client who left me a fucking message when they called): Wow, I have six missed calls from the same number, but no messages! When I figure out who this person is, I’ll be sure to make them my number one priority! I’ll make sure to put them at the bottom of my ever-growing pile of obligations!

**And you will immediately go to the bottom of my sub-pile of obligations if all of these unmessaged phone calls come from your wife, mother, or grandmother on your behalf.

 

 

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